Seriously.  I’m just tired of this yoyo effect.  I slim down, feel great, hurt my back.  I fatten up, feel like crap, hurt some more, take drugs.  I work out – slowly at first, get into it, kick ass, slim down, lather, rinse, repeat….. Grrrr…..

The worst of it is I HAVE NOBODY TO BLAME!!  Well, except myself.  I am so envious of those people who look beautiful and healthy and are in great shape.  I can’t even fit my fat girl pants right now and I’m just sitting here bitching about it.  What did I eat for breakfast?  I had my vitamins.  Good for me.  Oh yeah, and I had about 4 mini-Hershey candy bars because they were in my drawer and just taste so damn good.  Otherwise, just tea and water. 

 I need about 1000 of these per day… How long would that take?

This is IT.  I am going to do something drastic.  I am going to get one of those stupid 30-60 day meal plans and stick to it.  I’m going to hate it, but I have GOT to detox this jiggly ass and get moving somehow.  I am going to start walking again in the morning, possibly even hitting the gym.  My trainer doesn’t even know what I look like and I’m SURE he will be unhappy with me. 

Yes, I do have a back issue, but I know how to take care of it with the proper stretching/strengthening techniques.  I have to quit doing this to myself.  NO – not because it’s 2011.  Because I feel like CRAP and I HATE it.  Any other reason just isn’t good enough for me.

I was jumping around like this chick. Word.

Yeah, so I made it to Crossfit again last night.  I got a quick lesson on kettlebells and did the warm up and WOD.  15 minute AMRAP with hang cleans, bar hops, hands up push-ups and 50 ft. walking lunges. I managed to get through 5 and a half rounds, as prescribed, so I felt pretty good.  Needless to say, my arms and traps are feeling it today.  And my stomach.  I ate almost exclusively vegetables yesterday; veggie soup, raw veggies, coffee and Coke Zero….and the acid was tearing me up.  After some Tums and some much needed basic carbs, I was back to normal to watch the season finale of The Biggest Loser.

I’m doing what I can and really not doing too bad on diet or exercise.  I just don’t feel like I am making much progress.  It’s cold and wintry.  I’m overstressed and tired.  But I have to keep plugging along.  I have 92 more days to go.

Do these pants make my ass look fat?

I attempted this. I think I deserve a medal. And a hug.

Breaking News:  For the first time, after my warm-up and some review on my form, I was able to participate in the group exercise for the day at Crossfit last night!  It wasn’t the most complex of workouts, but it was all stuff I had covered and could do.

Last night’s workout was called “Diane”.  Some workouts throughout the process are named after people (see a list here) who were significant to Crossfit, or were heroes  in the military or other aspects of life.  For each of these, there is a prescribed number of reps or time and the weights you should use (if they require weights).  Diane consists of deadlifting 155 lbs for girls (more for guys) and doing handstand pushups (which are illustrated to the right).  Each exercise has to be done in reps of 21, 15 then 9;  21 deadlifts, 21 push ups…then 15 deadlifts, and so on.  If you just have started like me or are just not to the prescribed weight yet, you do what is a challenge to you but still in the reps.  Whatever you can do is timed. Diane, as with other named workouts, are benchmark workouts, where you can keep a journal of what you’ve done so after a few months, you can come back, try again and see if you have improved.

For me, this was my third visit, so I did 83 lbs on the deadlift and a modified handstand push up for my slowly strengthening rotator cuff.  For those who aren’t familiar with deadlifting, which I’m still not great at, it’s the same idea as doing leg presses on a circuit machine.  You use your legs almost exclusively to lift weight off the ground; that’s why I could deadlift over 80 lbs on my first day – it’s all leg strength.  It’s a unique movement that’s for sure.  No one deadlifts anything in real life.  Maybe someone does, but I sure don’t.  Without a nice, plush seat to sit in and kick up from, you have to pay very close attention to your back and your arms while doing it, but you still just use your legs.

The push ups I had to do modified because I just can’t quite get the range of motion I want with my shoulder yet.  They showed me that I would put my feet up on a parallel bar to alleviate the weight of my legs on my arms and do them with my torso straight up and down, but my legs piked.  So just like the crazy, hardcore dude in the picture, but folded at the waist.  Yeah…JUST like him.

So I started with the group.  I struggled and focused as best I could on my form.  I was huffing and puffing but I did my 21-15-9, although modified, in six minutes and fifteen seconds.

The board read: Ashleigh – 6:15. 83/pike.

I did it!  My first group Crossfit success!  I was so stoked that I jumped rope for a little while afterwards too, just to do it because I’m a bad mo-fo.  I feel stronger and better everyday.  I know what I’m doing is making me stronger and breaking through this stigma that I’d never lose weight or get toned up…and that at 30, I have to succumb to Mom Body…or Graphic Designer Body.  I don’t. I can do this!

Yesterday, my dieting was thwarted slightly by a meeting we had with chicken wings and candy.  Despite the less healthier options, I had only 3 wings (when I wanted 20), and a half of a turkey wrap with a diet coke, just a few tortilla chips with salsa and a few celery sticks…and a Jolly Rancher.  And a “fun size” Twix.  But that was it.  For dinner, I had steamed veggies with brown rice and water.  I had half a bag of 100 Calorie Popcorn as my snack while we watched TV.  As they say, its not about the falling, but how you get back up on that horse, and I did that well yesterday.  I was presented with some delicious, fattening food, but I was smart and chose healthier options, had a little treat, but got right back on the wagon with the next meal.  That’s what it’s all about.

Today, I am locked down at work with the food I packed until the F gets back from Augusta later this evening.  That’s good and bad.  I can’t really go get anything else to eat, but I can’t go back to Crossfit tonight either.  But I am going to be well under my caloric intake for the day as well…so if I can’t get in the gym, I don’t feel as bad.  I’ll be back tomorrow though!

Mmmm. Delicioso.

A delicious way to attack those Mexican food cravings without loads of melted cheese and thick sauces.  Change the amount of ingredients you use for how many people you’re cooking for.  I always have to cook for two.

4-6 Whole Wheat Tortillas (2-3 tacos a person)
Package of Taco Seasoning
Salt and Pepper to taste
Chicken breast tenderloins, cut into thin strips, count on 4-5 oz a person. I often get a pound or so, and cook off the rest for a salad or leftovers.
Half a can or so of black beans
Healthy Fixins:  Salsa, lettuce, low-fat cheese, avocado, lowfat or fat-free sour cream, cilantro, chopped tomatoes, lime wedges for squeezing, corn, onions, bell peppers, whatever you like.

Spray a skillet with Pam.  Heat that sucker up.  Toss your chicken strips with about 1/4 of your taco seasoning packet, salt and pepper.  Throw them in the skillet and saute them up until they are cooked through.

In a small pot, pour half of your can of black beans and another 1/4 of your taco seasoning, salt and pepper.  Heat those through.  (Rinse the rest and put them on a salad tomorrow..or grab some other beans and make yourself some bean soup with some veggie or chicken stock and chopped veggies.)  While these heat up, get those fixins out and chopped up.

When your veggies are cut up and meat is done, put your tortillas between two slightly dampened paper towels and microwave them for 15-20 seconds until they are more limber.  Assemble your tacos.  Enjoy them.  Clean up your kitchen.  Then do whatever you want, I’m not your boss.

You can serve this with a salad, some brown rice with rotel tomatoes heated in…or if you’re doing 3 tacos, the tacos tend to be enough.

(Make it even lighter by putting the taco fixins in a lettuce leaf…or bypass the chicken and just use beans. Be creative!)

You can tell by this hat that my weekend was probably not really focused on my health or nutrition.

I know I know, it’s Tuesday.  I should have updated everyone yesterday but I got busy.  Deal with it.  Heh.

This weekend was pretty busy.  Saturday, we had some birthday festivities to partake in and Sunday I worked.  Saturday, I did manage to get a run in that I was somewhat proud of.  With an egg white omelet….a few beers and a few slices of pizza…and maybe some Doritos.  Not the best diet day, but everyone gets a day off.  Sunday, I was hustling and doing retail where I ate a Veggie Delite salad from Subway and had vegetable soup for dinner.  Truth be told I wanted a pile of oreos and some chicken wings, but I have actually been doing pretty well at curbing slash ignoring cravings.

Yesterday was a rough day, but I made it through.  Had my usual cup of coffee, veggie soup, a granola bar and an apple while at work, with chicken tacos on whole wheat tortillas last night.  We didn’t make it to Crossfit because of the “miracle” of being a woman almost incapacitating me.  I’m hoping a healthy dose of Advil today will help me make it through and get to the gym tonight with some discomfort but not suicidal tendencies.

On the docket today?  Lots of work.  More veggie soup, raw veggies and fruit.  Crossfit in the frigid cold.  Then home to the couch with the Biggest Loser, DVRed “The Sing-Off”…if I can make it through both, then bed.  So…let’s get it started!

This was me, but with less weight on the bar, and with a bigger ass.

I am typing this after a long, labored walk up our stairs into our extra bedroom that houses our computer.  Every step, a challenge.  Why?  Because I somehow managed to survive my second day of Crossfit and not commit suicide afterwards.

The F had to work late so I had to go solo last night.  It was a legitimate excuse, but after a long conversation afterwards, he may not be coming back at all…but that’s for another blog post and another day.  I arrived ready to rock at 6:15 though, and Sam was ready to crush me.  I did a half warm up (5 pushups, squats, burpees and situps then the .25 mile run) and got into learning bar exercises.  Dead lifting with the correct form wasn’t too difficult.  You just have to position your body properly to work the right muscles…and lift through your heels with your legs. Once I felt how it was supposed to look (flat back, chest up, etc), I felt proud.

Power cleaning wasn’t as elementary, and despite its name, I guarantee whatever I was doing wasn’t looking very powerful.  It’s one thing to hold a weighted bar at arm’s length and set it back down.  Its an entirely different thing to make one fluid movement through the deadlift, and bring the bar up to where it is resting on your deltoids and your elbows are up like you’re about to raise the roof.  The power clean action is something that no one ever does in real life, so getting the muscle memory for it to feel natural was taking a little bit longer.  But the more I practiced, the more fluid it became.  I can’t say I perfected it last night, but I was coming around.

After the instructional part of the evening, it was time for my timed exercise.  At this point, I am not part of the general group yet, as I am still learning, so I have been given personalized exercise plans that review the movements I have been taught.  With that being said, I had an 8 minute AMRAP (as many reps/rounds as possible), with 10 power cleans and 10 burpees being one round.  I got through two and a half rounds, and 3 sad burpees.  So 30 power cleans, 23 burpees in 8 minutes – with the best form I could muster.  I was downright exhausted, but felt strong and capable again.  With the speed at which Crossfit happens, the pain during the workout is very intense, but short lived.  After the 8 minutes…or 15 or however long your workout is for the day, you can walk it out, have a seat, get some water and soon you’re sore, but rejuvenated and accomplished.

After I caught my breath and chatted up the coaches, I ran to a friend’s for a beer (and to critique her chili) and had a brie and apple salad with maybe a tablespoon of their most lowfat dressing at Sesame with F after he got out of work.  By the time I hopped off my barstool to head back home, the pain had set in and I waddled back out to the car to drive home.

This morning, the pain is definitely worst than after day one.  But it’s an earned pain that I know is just getting me closer to my goals.  After I pick up this wreck of a house some more, I am going to see if I can better my 13 minute time on my day 1 workout by doing it here and using my miCoach to measure my mileage.  I can do this.  I know I can now.  I want to and I need to and I CAN.

This bitch is no joke.

In our efforts to get in shape, I found a local Groupon-type product that was providing a month membership at our local Crossfit gym. The fiance and I have friends who have told us about it and have seen their progress, so with a month coupon, we figured we’d give it a try.  We heard it was tough, but addicting.

Crossfit is a relatively new concept to the suburban, white-bread set, but has been developed for about 10 years as a time-effective, high-intensity, full-body workout integrating all different types of training methods.  If you watch Biggest Loser, you’ve pretty much seen Crossfit – it’s the “last chance workout”.  Each day is a different pre-prescribed circuit told to you when you arrive that takes you through 2, 3 or 4 different movements with different reps, as well as sprints integrated in to get you a full workout in a matter for 30-45 minutes.  The circuits can consist of plyometrics, weights, kettlebells, push ups, sit ups, you name it.  The drive behind Crossfit is to see how quickly you can complete this circuit with correct form.

Last night, we went in for our assessment and foundations course.  Your first 2 weeks or so, give or take some, they teach you the correct form for each exercise and determine at what level of fitness at which you are starting.  After learning some of the foundation movements that are generally used in warm-up (proper squats, their version of sit ups, etc.), we were instructed on our first workout.  Two rounds of the warm-up sequence, without stopping, balls out.  The warm-up at our particular gym consists of 10 pushups (I did girl ones for my rotator cuff, at least to start), 10 air squats, 10 burpees, 10 sit ups, 10 pull ups (which I had to bypass entirely for my rotator cuff) and a quarter mile sprint (or as fast as you can go). All the while the trainers, called “coaches” are rooting you on and perfecting your form.

The fiance and I started out at about the same pace.  We were knocking it out.  After sit ups, I headed outside for my sprint, while F did his pull ups.  I felt bad about having to bypass the pull-ups, so I really tried to run as hard as I could.  Mind you, that isn’t very hard….but I was still pushing 100%.  The cold air was burning my lungs, but I kept thinking about that wedding dress and its busted hook and eye clasp under my bed.  I passed F on the way back into the gym on the sprint path. “I can’t breathe,” he panted.  I told him to keep trying.

Want to be like Lance (but keep your testicles)? Do Crossfit.

I got back into the gym and started back with pushups and squats when F got back into the gym.  I finished my burpees and sit-ups with a little bit of nausea and almost no breath left.  Coach Sam said to walk the quarter mile if I had to.  I knew I couldn’t wimp out though.  If I wasn’t passed out, I was hustling.  F was standing in the gym, wheezing and getting pale.  I “bolted” out the door for my last “sprint”. I had to finish it with all I had to push F and instill some confidence in myself.

Nine minutes had passed.  Nine.  And this was the hardest workout I had had, maybe in my life, as far as targeting every muscle from head to toe.

I can say I didn’t walk, but I can’t say what I was doing was a run either.  My feet were going as fast as I could and I did everything to steady my breath so I could really exert myself for the run after the turn around at the .125 mile stake they have at the half way point. I rounded the post and put it into my exhausted version of overdrive.  It might have been the sorriest overdrive known to man, but I was doing it. I wasn’t giving up.  I wanted to stop for a Coke and a blankie and a hug so bad, but I didn’t. I felt a real sense of accomplishment.  I was finally taking my health into my own hands.  No more excuses.

I opened the door to the gym and F was sitting in the lobby area, white as a ghost.  Coach Sam was sitting with him.

“I threw up,” F said, exasperated.

Throwing up and not finishing…and your fiance finishing is not the best, most confidence-building way to start a new workout routine.  We had joked and poked each other’s bellies for months up until now, but how truly out of shape we BOTH are was no longer funny.

But this is what we signed up for.  We wanted a legit, full-body, time-effective workout that was going to get it done before our wedding.  We wanted to get crushed; we need it.  But he was discouraged.

We talked to Coach Sam and headed home.  I told him I’d be back tonight, even if F didn’t feel up to it.  After a good bit of rest, F felt better and said he wasn’t completely done.  He felt he could try again.  But we’ll see how sore he is today.

I, for one, can barely move.  My thighs are sore, my pecs are tight and core is trembling.  But I’ll be there.  I have the vision of me crumpled in my broken dress on the bedroom floor as motivation.  I might pass out, I might puke.  I don’t care. I found something that will be different everyday and won’t take forever like the elliptical does while I stare at the wall for an hour. I get the personal attention I need to ensure I’m using the correct form so I don’t hurt myself.  There are coaches who can modify shoulder exercises for me to strengthen my rotator back to it’s original range of motion.  I couldn’t be more sore….or happy.

I encourage you to go check out Crossfit if you have it in your area.  Most gyms have a 2 week pass to try it out, or very small drop-in fees if you just wanted to pop in for a day for a change of pace.  What are you waiting for?

www.crossfit.com/ – General Info

www.crossfitcleveland.com/ – CLE

www.crossfitcharlotte.com/ – CLT

www.lowcountrycrossfit.com/ – CHS

www.universalcrossfit.com/ – Houston

My run yesterday. Click to enlarge. Thankfully this is not a picture of my ass.

Good morning all!  It was a rough weekend for dieting, that’s for sure, and short of Black Friday hustling and wrestling old broads and moms for Wii games and what not, there wasn’t a lot of exercising going on either.  But with Sunday came a new found drive to get what needs to get done, done.

I started a miCoach account on adidas.com.  You put in your goals, your current status of fitness and how often you want to work out.  It then gives you a schedule of what you need to do to get it done.  Brilliant.  Today I have an assessment work out I need to do to set some of the automatic limits and goals within the software, and then it’s off to the races!  It even has voice coaching from famous athletes like Reggie Bush and Andy Murray.  It looks like it’ll be very helpful, and it’s FREE!  So go check it out.  adidas.com/micoach.

That in conjunction with bikram yoga here and there, and a Crossfit gift certificate I have…plus, tracking my calories on TheDailyPlate.com, I feel like I have a new-found control over my wellness, health, fitness and fatness.

I have 107 more days until the big walk down the aisle and I’m ready to take it on.  I want to, I have to and I can.  I have a renewed sense of urgency and I don’t plan on anything taking that from me.  Here I come March!  Show me what you’ve got!